


sensei said i needed to talk to someone

by whichlights



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Autistic Lloyd Garmadon, Coping, Depression, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Neurodiversity, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Therapy, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, maurice should probably get a raise, repressed trauma, self harm /, theyre all fucked up!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/pseuds/whichlights
Summary: The ninja all go to the same therapist for their issues.His name is Maurice.





	1. Lloyd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_will_fight_you](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_will_fight_you/gifts), [Nagasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagasha/gifts).



> lmao this started in the discord chat now we're here

(Doctor's Appointment- Check Up)

"Yeah, most of the time I'm sad."

"You're... sad? The majority of the time."

"Well, somewhere between sad and apathy. If I'm not actively trying to make myself happy, I'm sad."

"You're tearing up. So you can try to joke about this, but somewhere down there you're really upset about this. How about I recommend you to a therapist?"

"I don't need a therapist."

(Therapist Office- First Visit)

"Hello Lloyd, I'm Maurice."

"Hi."

"I wanted to talk to you today."

"I don't know you."

"Do you like hot chocolate?"

"What?"

"My husband got me a lot of hot chocolate mix, and I need to use it up, so I keep it in my office. Hot chocolate?"

"Why not?"

"So, the doctor doing your check up recommended you to me. Any idea why?"

"I told her the truth."

"Alright. Alright."

(Therapist's Office- Second Visit)

"Lloyd, what are those scars on your arms for?"

"I did it. It's okay, they don't hurt."

"Lloyd, why do you hurt yourself?"

"I don't know. It's's all good, I don't do it often. See, only three."

"Why only those three?"

"Three lowest points in my life. Hey, you know, it's no big deal."

"Alright then."

"That hot chocolate offer still good?"

(Therapist's Office- Third Visit)

"Why do I have to come here every week?"

"Because that's how you're scheduled. If you want it less often, or more often, that can be arranged."

"Dragging myself up here is already enough of a disturbance to my routine."

"Tell me about your routine."

"You know, the things I do. It really upsets me when something throws it off. But these visits have kind of settled into my routine, so, whatever."

"Interesting. How long has a routine like this mattered to you?"

"Since... forever? Why?"

"Trying to understand you better."

(Therapist's Office- Fourth Visit)

"You okay, Lloyd? You've barely said a word."

"I'm fine."

"Lloyd, unless it's a danger to yourself or others, you have complete confidentiality with me."

"I just... it's windy."

"Care to elaborate?"

"No."

(Therapist's Office- Fifth Visit)

"It's really windy. I don't like it."

"Wind seems to be a sort of trigger for you."

"A what."

"A trigger. You know what a trigger is, right? And not just the 'lol triggered' memes online?"

"I don't know what you're talking about meme wise, I don't really have time for the internet, but I know what a trigger is."

"And?"

"I don't... have... holy shit."

(Therapist's Office- Sixth Visit)

"Maurice, you will not believe the day I've had."

"You can tell me all about it."

(Therapist's Office- Seventh Visit)

"I think I like guys."

"That's awesome."

"No, but I mean I think I like girls, too. But I also don't think I like anyone."

"It's okay, you can experiment with labels. There's a pamphlet on the front desk with a whole list of them, see if any of those fit."

"Thanks."

(Therapist's Office- Eighth Visit)

"Lloyd, would you mind filling out this quiz for me?"

"Why?"

"Just some things I've noticed about you. You don't make eye contact, you have a reliance on your routines, you have sensory issues, that sort of thing."

"Why do those matter?"

"Well, I was just wondering if you've considered that you're autistic. You have a lot of the behaviors, and it would explain a lot."

"... THAT'S A _THING_?"

(Therapist's Office- Ninth Visit)

"Lloyd, it's okay. Just cry. It's okay."

"I-I-"

"It's alright. I'm proud of you for telling me about Morro."

(Therapist's Office- Tenth Visit)

"Lloyd, I think you might have depression."

"No shit, Maurice."

(Therapist's Office- Eleventh Visit)

"Maurice, when do you fix me?"

"What?"

"You know, when am I normal again?"

"Lloyd, you might be able to manage it better again, and not let it destroy your life, but you can't ever be the way you were before your trauma. Especially since it happened at such a young age."

"Goddammit."

(Therapist's Office- Twlefth Visit)

"Okay, so we got depression, PTSD, and autism. Anything else you wanna pile on me?"

"You're very sarcastic."

"Thank you."

(Therapist's Office- Thirteenth Visit)

"Hey Maurice... I'm bi. Well, bi grey-acearo. And genderfluid."

"That's cool, what are your pronouns?"

"Uh, he/they today, but they switch around."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"A few of my teammates. I'm new to this."

"Take your time."

(Therapist's Office- Fourteenth Visit)

"Maurice, I really don't want to discredit your skills, but I'm still sad a lot."

"Well, your brain has a disorder that makes you sad. I'll have to talk to your parent or guardian about it in detail, but maybe you could benefit from an anti-depressant."

"Like, a drug?"

"Only if you want to."

"I mean maybe trying wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, probably."

(Therapist's Office- Fifteenth Visit)

"Maurice, why do you have a pack of cards on your desk?"

"Some people talk easier over a game of Go Fish or Uno."

"Can I try?"

"Sure."

(Therapist's Office- Sixteenth Visit)

"I didn't hate this near as much as I thought I would."

"Thank you?"

"So next week?"

"See you, kid."

 


	2. Kai

(Therapist's Office- Lobby)

"Are you ready for your appointment?" 

"What."

"I set one up for you," Lloyd said. "You wanted me too. You were drunk. Super drunk."

(Therapist's Office- First Visit)

"Why do you drink, Kai?"

"To get through the day."

"Have you considered alternative methods?"

"Sure."

"How have those worked out?"

"Not well."

(Therapist's Office- Second Visit)

"I forgot to ask on your first visit, but do you like hot chocolate?"

"Um, sure?"

"Excellent!"

(Therapist's Office- Third Visit)

"Hey Maurice, why aren't you bugging me more about stuff? You barely ask any questions."

"You barely tell me anything."

"Aren't you supposed to ask me things?"

"It's easier if you talk to me, and I ask questions to clarify things for me. That's what I'm here for."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"No one ever does."

(Therapist's Office- Fourth Visit)

"Is that a picture of you and your husband?"

"It is."

"Cool. Cool. I like guys too."

"That's very cool."

(Therapist's Office- Fifth Visit)

"I guess it started when Zane died. I joined a fight club in a bar, and I just started leaning back onto drinking to get through it, then I never stopped."

"Why do you think you haven't stopped?"

"If I stop it all comes crashing down."

(Therapist's Office- Sixth Visit)

"I'm sorry. I like you, but I don't trust shrinks. They made me and Nya see one after our parents died, and I just..."

"It's perfectly alright, Kai. My profession has a history of not being the best in terms of patient care."

"I'm really trying, I promise. I promised myself I would try to get better. I don't want to, but that's dumb. I want to want to get better."

"That's a good mindset to have."

(Therapist's Office- Seventh Visit)

"Can I just have some hot chocolate today? I don't really want to talk."

(Therapist's Office- Eighth Visit)

"I'm looking into support groups, I guess."

"I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, dad."

"I know that was supposed to be sarcastic."

"I can't get anything past you."

(Therapist's Office- Ninth Visit)

"I didn't really have a parental figure for most of my life. I had to  _be_ the person in charge. I was five. What the fuck."

"That put a lot of pressure on you from a very young age."

"Yah, it did. I didn't really have... friends. I had Nya. Just Nya. I love her to bits, but... I just..."

"It's alright."

(Therapist's Office- Tenth Visit)

"I still can't believe my mom and dad are back, and part of my life. It's wild."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I missed them! But, also... there was so much going on... I just want to get to know them as people. But what if I don't like them?"

"You're not obligated to."

"I know."

(Therapist's Office- Eleventh Visit)

"I've been sober for two weeks."

"I'm so proud of you, Kai. You're doing great. Do you want to talk about possible coping mechanisms to replace drinking?"

"... Yah, I would."

"Excellent. There's pamphlets on the desk in the lobby, grab one on your way out."

(Therapist's Office- Twelfth Visit)

"Can I just... tell you about my week?"

"You can talk to me about anything, Kai."

"I know. Well, okay, I'm trying to be better at knowing that. I'm really, really trying."

"I can't ask for much more than that."


	3. Cole

(Therapist's Office- First Visit)

"Kai said you can fix me."

"I don't know about that. I know I can offer advice, answers, and point people in the right direction, and even get them medical help, but I can't offer immediate 'fixes'. For some people, there's no such thing as being 'fixed' just learning to manage whatever's going on."

"You got  _Kai_ to stop drinking, and you got  _Lloyd_ to open up. I'll call it fixing if I want to."

"Alright then."

"So, like, I've been having this reoccurring nightmare-"

(Therapist's Office- Second Visit)

"Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"Yah! It's... really weird, you know? Having a body again. After being a ghost. That was... scary. Scary isn't the right word, but I don't have the word I want to use. Terrifying doesn't cover it either."

"Scary works."

"Even  _water_ was dangerous to me. When I got my body back, I went straight to the water park. I used to hate water, now I can't get enough of it."

(Therapist's Office- Third Visit)

"I... I'm... sad."

"How sad?"

"Really sad. Usually I have rainbow depression."

"What?"

"Well, you know, my usual 'everything sucks and I'm sad' but I can still act happy and take part in the world around me. Rainbow depression."

"So you have depression?"

"Like, ninety-five percent sure. Fix me."

(Therapist's Office- Fourth Visit)

"Am I the least valuable ninja?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, everyone else just seems to contribute more."

"I promise, Cole, you are incredibly valuable to your team. There isn't such thing as a 'least valuable' teammate."

"Then why give awards for 'most valuable'?"

"The hype around sports and those who do well at it. Even though there may be a 'most valuable', that doesn't mean there's a 'least valuable'."

"I... guess that makes sense? I like sports."

"Me too!"

(Therapist's Office- Fifth Visit)

"Sometimes I feel like Jay is still avoiding me, because of that whole mess with Nya, and the perfect match. I don't even  _like_ girls! And he  _says_ he's over it, but we're not as close as we used to be."

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"He changes the subject every time. I just want to put it behind us."

(Therapist's Office- Sixth Visit)

"Maurice, why am I still sad?"

"What?"

"You haven't fixed me yet."

"Cole, I told you, I can't 'fix' you. I can help."

"...this is helping."

"That's very good."

(Therapist's Office- Seventh Visit)

"I'm actually very surprised that you're talking to me. Your teammates weren't quite so trusting."

"Well, I don't  _want_ to have depression."

(Therapist's Office- Eighth Visit)

"I'm running on like... half a spoons, and I haven't slept in four days. Good night."

"Good night, Cole."

(Therapist's Office- Ninth Visit)

"I've always been sad, I guess. Like, depressed. But I don't know, since being a ninja it's just... all that on top of it. I don't have the energy to do my ninja duties. Like, depression, plus bonus trauma- you got turned into a ghost! I feel like death, all the time! I hate it! I hate it! Ugh, I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

"It's okay to cry. It's healthy."

"Alright. But, still, that's... it's a lot."

"It is. But I'm here to help you not let it ruin your life."

"That's good."

(Therapist's Office- Tenth Visit)

"You mentioned you were running on half a spoon the other week?"

"Oh, yah, like everyone on the team is neurodivergent, except Zane, but he's a robot. Lloyd's the last one to get any kind of diagnosis."

"So you're in a good environment with that?"

"The best."

(Therapist's Office- Eleventh Visit)

"Maurice!"

"Yes?"

"I LOVE MY FRIENDS!"

(Therapist's Office- Twelfth Visit)

"I'm so sorry for wasting your time, but it's a tough week and I just need a fucking nap."

"This is your time, to use however you want, Cole. Do what you need to."

(Therapist's Office- Thirteenth Visit)

"I'm... I'm still sad Maurice. Why haven't I stopped being sad?"

"You have a disorder that makes you sad. Do you want to try some antidepressants, see if those help?"

"I've tried them before. They just made it worse."

"There's more than one kind of antidepressant."

"There is?"

(Therapist's Office- Fourteenth Visit)

"I wish I was closer with my dad. We're getting better, but I want to be close  _now_."

"It takes time."

"I know, I know."

(Therapist's Office- Fifteenth Visit)

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Supporting me. Helping me. You can't fix me, but you've done the next best thing."

"Then that's what I'm here for."

"So we still on for next week?"

"As long as you want to come."

 


	4. Nya

(Therapist's Office- First Visit)

"Wu is insisting everyone has to talk to you at least once. Hi."

"Hi. Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"Sure, I guess."

(Therapist's Office- Second Visit)

"You're a legend on our ship. I don't get it. Are you really that good?"

"I don't know, I try not to inflate my own ego."

"Ha. Alright, really, where do you get all this hot chocolate?"

"My husband."

"You have a husband?"

"Yes."

"Alright. That's cool."

(Therapist's Office- Third Visit)

"I just... I wish I hadn't had to develop elemental powers for them to treat me like an equal! And I can't believe I had to give up being Samurai X just to be the  _water ninja_. I feel... I don't know, like I had to give up who I was to be relevant. I had to be like them."

"That's entirely fair. Have you brought up these concerns to them?"

"No. You think I should try that?"

"It's good to be honest."

(Therapist's Office- Fourth Visit)

"I still can't  _believe_ Jay's nerve. I didn't want to be with him! I still  _don't_! I don't like him like that! It was so unfair for him to push me like that. And,  _yes_ , I've told him that. I told him while he was doing that! I can't believe I thought I liked him. I... no."

"Does he respect your  _no_ now?"

"Yes, once he finally got the idea through his skull I didn't want to be with him. I don't want to be with anyone on the team. We're just good friends now."

"That's good. You deserve a relationship with someone you want to be with."

"Thanks Maurice."

(Therapist's Office- Fifth Visit)

"You're more open than your brother."

"Well, you're gay- right, gay? Or bi, or..."

"I'm gay."

"Yah, I trust gays. I'm pan."

"That's awesome."

(Therapist's Office- Sixth Visit)

"I... you're not going to believe me."

"What is it?"

"I just... well I... can you not say the words  _I wish_? Or, like, anything like that?"

"I'll remember."

"I'd tell you why, but..."

"When you're ready to tell me, I'm ready to listen."

(Therapist's Office- Seventh Visit)

"Do you like being the water ninja?"

"Sure! But I also liked being Samurai X. More, actually. I made Samurai X, myself, and it just feels more like me. I hate I had to give it up."

"Understandable. You felt you had to give up individuality to be accepted?"

"Yes!"

(Therapist's Office- Eighth Visit)

"No, no, I'm not pan. I'm a lesbian. I think. I was wrong the first time, so maybe I'm wrong now? What if I'm straight? Oh no."

"It's okay to experiment with different labels."

"I know, but... I don't like to be wrong."

"It's not about being wrong. It's about discovery."

"Okay... okay, I'm a lesbian."

(Therapist's Office- Ninth Visit)

"Soo... you're not going to believe me."

"I live in Ninjago. Try me."

"... There was an entire timeline that Jay erased because he made a wish from a djinn and no one but me and him remember?"

"...I will admit, that is strange, but I know you wouldn't lie to me."

"Okay."

"What happened in this timeline?"

"Well..."

(Therapist's Office- Tenth Visit)

"I destroyed an entire realm.  _Two_ of them. I... oh, God, so many people... the ghosts were right there, and I needed to destroy the Preeminent, but... what if there was another way I didn't see? There were innocents in the Cursed Realm too, like Lloyd's  _dad_ , and then Djinjago... I destroyed their homes."

"Nya, you didn't know about Djinjago."

"But I still destroyed it. But I still can't see another way I could have saved the people without destroying the Cursed Realm. But that doesn't make Djinjago not destroyed."

"Nya, it's okay to cry."

(Therapist's Office- Eleventh Visit)

"I... I got chased around and harassed by a djinn for  _months_. All while Jay was being... him, at that point in time. It was so out of character for him. But I... I just felt like... like... I don't know, like a prize."

"You're not a prize to be won."

"I know."

(Therapist's Office- Twelfth Visit)

"I died."

"That's... honestly, nothing I can say can make that any better."

"I  _died_. And I can never say this to Lloyd, or the others- even Cole wouldn't understand, he didn't  _die_ -but I... almost feel sorry for Morro. In that one department. It doesn't excuse what he did, his actions, or anything. I'm not sympathetic to him. I just... I feel sorry because I died, too. And it hurt  _so much_."

"It's alright, Nya."

"God, I hate crying. It makes me feel weak."

"You're anything but weak."

(Therapist's Office- Thirteenth Visit)

"I... I'm a lesbian, right?"

"Only you can say that for sure."

"But I'm  _not_ sure! I remember how I was so sure I was in love with Jay, but I'm not! But I... I can see myself in a relationship with a boy, but I don't want to be."

"It sounds like lesbian fits you, but I can't say for sure. Only you can. But remember- if you choose to call yourself a lesbian, you are one."

"Okay."

(Therapist's Office- Fourteenth Visit)

"I never imagined this would help so much. It's good to just... get it off my chest. So, how have you been?"

"Pretty good."

"Me too. I'm a lesbian! I'm an awesome autistic lesbian!"

"That's amazing!"

(Therapist's Office- Fifteenth Visit)

"Will you ever get tired of listening to all of our ninja problems?"

"No."

"Thank you. So much."

(Therapist's Office- Sixteenth Visit)

"I told the team about how having to give up Samurai X to be the water ninja made me feel."

"How did it go?"

"Better than I expected. They understood, I think, and said sorry."

"That's good."

"Yah, it is. Can I have some hot chocolate?"

"Of course."


	5. Jay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter and nya's follow the same time frame. just imagine they go to maurice like an hour after each other

(Therapist Office- First Visit)

"Alright, this is my obligatory visit. I'm not coming back after this."

"Okay."

 (Therapist Office- Second Visit)

"I know I said I wouldn't come back, but I really like your hot chocolate."

"Thank you."

"Your husband got it for you, right?"

"Yes."

"This is... kind of weird to say. But it makes me happy to know there really are boys out there that marry boys, and live together happily. Gives me hope."

(Therapist Office- Third Visit)

"Still don't want to be here."

"Then why do you keep coming back?"

"I know I need to be."

(Therapist Office- Fourth Visit)

"Ask me questions."

"How's your relationship with the rest of your teammates?"

"Kai and I are good, Zane and I are good, Lloyd and I are good, but my relationship with Nya and Cole is... strained. I hate it."

"Any ideas on how to make it better?"

"Talk to them?"

"That's always a start."

(Therapist Office- Fifth Visit)

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Please don't say 'I wish.' It's kind of a trigger."

"Noted and filed."

(Therapist Office- Sixth Visit)

"Jay, it's okay. Breathe."

"Oh, God, can't. Can't."

(Therapist Office- Seventh Visit)

"How often do you get panic attacks?"

"I don't know. Once every week or two?"

"That must be tough."

"Yah."

(Therapist Office- Eighth Visit)

"Alright. I'm ready to talk. A little bit."

"About?"

"Can you get me on anxiety meds?"

"I can look into it."

"Thanks."

(Therapist Office- Ninth Visit)

"Nya told me she told you about Nadakhan."

"A little bit. Just the basics."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"... yah."

(Therapist Office- Tenth Visit)

"I was, like, a major jerk to Nya. And... because of my actions, she... I don't think I can say it. But I feel so guilty."

"Is she okay now?"

"Yes."

"Have you changed your actions?"

"Yes."

"Have you talked to her about what happened?"

"Yes."

"Has she forgiven you?"

"Yah. I think so. That's the important part."

(Therapist Office- Eleventh Visit)

"I still have nightmares about Nadakhan. He fucking terrifies me."

"That was a traumatic experience, so that's reasonable."

"Yah. I don't know what to do about them except talk about it. Can I talk about it?"

"Always."

(Therapist Office- Twelfth Visit)

"Nya died. I know she told you."

"That's what you felt guilty about."

"Yah. I saw my best friend die in my arms, and it was... it was my fault."

(Therapist Office- Thirteenth Visit)

"I... thank you, for, uh, helping me so much."

"It's my job."

"Is there some way I can tip you?"

"It's fine, Jay. I love what I do."

(Therapist Office- Fourteenth Visit)

"Cole and I are talking again."

"That's great!"

"I know! I missed him a lot. He lived right across from me but, well... I missed him."

(Therapist Office- Fifteenth Visit)

"I think I use humor as a defense mechanism to hide my feelings."

"And?"

"Now I'm working on being more honest."

"That's hard to do. I'm proud of you."

(Therapist Office- Sixteenth Visit)

"You're pretty cool, you know?"

"Thanks. You're pretty cool, too."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and im trying to finish up all those ninjago fics i nearly abandoned lmao


	6. Zane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop whoop last chapter

(Therapist's Office- First Visit)

"Hello."

"Hello, Zane. Can you have hot chocolate?"

"Yes. Thank you."

(Therapist's Office- Second Visit)

"I do not understand why I need to be here. I'm a nindroid."

"Well, sometimes it's good to talk about your feelings. Even if you are a robot."

(Therapist's Office- Third Visit)

"So, the memory of your destruction was too painful to think about, so you literally locked it away?"

"Yes."

"Zane, that sounds a lot like repressed trauma."

"No, I can't have trauma, I'm a robot."

(Therapist's Office- Fourth Visit)

"I'm... not a person. I'm a robot."

"You know what? I don't think there's really a difference between a well coded robot and a well coded human. You think. You feel. You have memories and a personality, and scary things scare you and happy things make you laugh. What else would make you human?"

"I... you're right."

"I usually am."

(Therapist's Office- Fifth Visit)

"Zane, there's something I've noticed about you and the way you behave."

"What?"

"It's just that you have quite a few autistic traits. Enough to qualify for a diagnosis, now that I think about it. Any idea why that may be?"

"My father... well, he acted the same way. I just assumed that was how everyone was."

"And then when you went out into the world and you were wrong... hm. Zane, is it possible your father was autistic and coded you, his son, to be like him?"

"It... that would certainly make things make sense."

(Therapist's Office- Sixth Visit)

"I think you might be right about the repressed trauma."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I think I'm still dealing with it on my own terms. But it's... helpful, to acknowledge there is a problem."

"That's always the first step."

(Therapist's Office- Seventh Visit)

"Was that man outside with you your husband?"

"Oh, yeah. Man, what is it about my love life that's so popular with you ninja?"

"None of us are straight."

(Therapist's Office- Eighth Visit)

"Do you ever get tired of what you do?"

"Never."

(Therapist's Office- Ninth Visit)

"Maurice, I believe I am nonbinary."

"That's awesome. Should I use they/them pronouns?"

"He or they, thank you."

(Therapist's Office- Tenth Visit)

"Maurice I am ready to talk about my trauma."

"And I'm ready to listen."

(Therapist's Office- Eleventh Visit)

"Is life always this hard?"

"Not at all. It can get rough, and it can leave you all sorts of banged up, but it does get better."

"That's nice."

(Therapist's Office- Twelfth Visit)

"Thank you Maurice. For everything."

"It's no problem, Zane. It's my duty and pleasure to help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and im finishing up all my old ninjago fics Is It Working

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and ive been to two therapists and am getting recommended for a third. please find me a therapist that doesnt suck thank u


End file.
